My Inaugural Entry

At the suggestion of some Facebook friends, I have created an outlet for my frequent opinions, occasional outrages, and general observations. I wrote a weekly opinion column for several years in college - it will be interesting to see if I can keep this up with any degree of regularity.

Today was, well, filled with new experiences. But not like skydiving or trying sushi- more like, getting a catheter or contracting e coli. I had both kids home all day, due to ice and snow, and Declan (the baby) became an opportunist.

While I was putting Cian (the 3-yr-old) down for a theoretical nap/forced confinement, Declan moved some barricades around the end table and nabbed my Starbucks-Venti-Iced-Mocha-8 pumps-Light Ice-Whole Milk-With Whip and poured it all over himself and the floor. I found him in a puddle on the hardwood floor, sucking the end of the straw and licking his hands joyfully.

After I stripped him down, I put him in San Quentin Playpen and started mopping. A couple of minutes later, I notice something large and green hanging out of Declan's mouth: GAH! It's the toy lizard Cian got at Chuck E. Cheese on Friday with the babysitter - one of those squeezy, bulgy things that seems to stretch endlessly. It does, however, have a weakness: baby fangs. Declan had punctured it, and fluid was leaking out of it. Panic ensues, poison control is called, pediatrician is called, nurse practitioner friend gets cornered when she makes the mistake of calling during aforementioned panic. And before you roll your eyes at my panic, let me say: the thing was made in CHINA. Yes, home of melamine formula, toxic paint and lead filled jewelry.

As an aside, poison control was pretty worthless. I sort of expect more from a trained professional than, "Well, we don't know what's in it. Just watch him." Oh, I feel so much better now. Thanks for the game plan.

I've never had to call poison control before, since Cian has never been one to eat random objects. Declan, on the other hand, thinks anything can be food if it can fit in his mouth. He ate an entire business card last month...nothing left but a teensy soggy crumb. I foresee lots of calls to poison control in the years to come, in spite of their underwhelming performance today.

All's well that ends well, I suppose. Someone told me one time that as a stay at home mom of little children, my sole responsibility was to have living children at the end of each day. In that respect, today was successful. It's small praise, but I'll take it.